Time-Outs for Parents

Good Morning!

I have been away in California visiting family and friends, and I am excited to get back to work here at Global Mama. With all of the family obligations, travel plans, colds and flues, gift-buying, overeating, etc., I think we all tend to get a bit frazzled this time of year. Unfortunately, when we are feeling stressed/anxious/overtired it is often our kids who really suffer. And this year, many families are feeling more stress than ever: money is extra tight, people are losing jobs and even homes. So let’s just take a little time-out to have a look at what’s going on.

“Coffee & Sea” by annia316

Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming parents and teachers) has strengths and weaknesses when it comes to children. When you are at the end of your rope, it is usually in your weak areas where you lose control first. You may not be able to control what is happening with your job or home right now, but you can choose to control how you are interacting with your children. If you find yourself frequently losing your temper with your children, one of the first things you can do is recognize your own strengths and weaknesses as a parent. Be totally honest. It won’t do you any good if you skirt around the issues that really get under your skin.

For instance, I get really frustrated when there is a lot of noise, when a baby is crying for no apparent reason, and when I see bullying behavior. Being aware of my weaknesses allows me to take a deep breath and choose to relax when I need to deal with these situations instead of taking out my frustration on the children.

When you are making your own list, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Your Strengths

What do you really enjoy doing with your children?

What makes you laugh?

When do you find yourself staying calm in a tough situation?

Your Weaknesses

What really pisses you off?

What do you feel like you’re always getting angry about?

What makes you nervous or scared?

When your child does something that touches a nerve, instead of your first reaction being anger, you can think to yourself, “Okay, this is my own weakness. This is not about my child.”

If you are having trouble calming down, and feel that you would fly off the handle if you spoke to your child right then, it is perfectly okay to give yourself a time-out! Take yourself to a different room if possible, sit down, and breathe deeply for a minute. You can tell your child you are giving yourself a Time-Out, or just say that Mom/Dad needs to calm down. It is actually setting a great example to your child to let them see how we as adults are able to recognize and manage our own emotions.

Remember that overcoming your weaknesses takes time. Talk with your partner or other family members about each of your personal strengths and weaknesses. Read books or sign up for a parenting class to help teach yourself new methods of dealing with your biggest frustrations as a parent. But even if the only thing you do is become more aware of your weaknesses, this in itself can be a big help.

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