As I am in the process of shifting gears in my career, I have been thinking a lot about what it means, on a personal level, to be successful. There is a very narrow definition of success in the culture at large that mostly has to do with making boatloads of money and getting recognition in the media. But who does that definition of success serve? Not a whole lot of us, that’s who! And while I would be as stoked as the next girl to be pulling in a fat paycheck, in the meantime I want to be happy with where I am and what I can accomplish right now. I propose that we redefine success, on our own terms.
Owl by enna
So my question for you is this: How do you define success in your life? Has your definition of success changed over the years? If you have children, what do you hope for them in their lives? How would you feel if your teenage son told you, “Hey, mom, I’ve been thinking, and this whole college thing? Really not for me. I just want to give surfing lessons and knit punk rock tea cozies.” In other words, do you have your heart set on a certain path for your child? Do you feel that your definition of success was influenced by your parents? Let’s discuss.
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That is such a hard one but I do think that success is defined by the person and even then, it may not apply to the whole self, i.e success in a career doesn’t necessarily translate as success in the personal life. And then you apply this idea of success to kids, and it gets all confusing. I want to say that no matter what my son chooses to do with his life, as long as he is happy I am fine with it. Then I get a panicky because of the realities of life and the need to protect. You have me stumped. I do think that I will end up pushing Diego a bit, hopefully not too much. My mom wasn’t involved in the process and was always disappointed in the product. My dad just wasn’t involved at all and rarely voiced judgments or praise. I don’t how they influenced my definition of success but I do know that I don’t plan on being like them.
I’ve always felt that happiness is more important than success. But happiness is a tenuous thing and a feeling that actually needs a surprising amount of work to maintain for some. My grandmother used to say that health is more important than wealth. I don’t have my heart set on a certain path for my kids, but I do worry that healthcare is so tied to wealth in this country. I counsel my kids to consider many options then, with the options they think would suit them equally, I advise them to consider both income and job security.
I’ve spent my life acquiring degrees and working hard at jobs to try to be successful. Now that I am retired and mainly spend time reading and with my grandchildren, I feel happier and live more in the moment. My grandson has asked me several times why I laugh all the time. I tell him because he makes me so happy — and he does. Until he commented on my laughing I didn’t realize I was doing so much of it. And it does reflect how I feel. I don’t think much about success anymore.